Work and my mad hatter

So i had my last shift at a job i have worked at for the past 2 years. It was strange. I work within a nightclub. Not a great job, pay was average but what made it great was the people. When i started working there i was timid, quiet and overall a weak person. However over time it helped shape me into the person i am today.

It provided me with the main game changer within my life: Jordan. When i started I was put on one of the 8 bars within the venue. The bar known as Bar 2 and that is how i met my mad hatter. The guy that became my best friend. That was loyal and had my back no matter what.

We didn’t speak for the first few weeks of working together, we just got on with our job but we never got in each others way. There was a rhythm with us. We flowed and worked well together. Working in a bar is hard, one of the main reasons being that some staff don’t “flow” around the bar very well. They get in your way, bump into you, don’t put things back properly and so on. However there was non of that with me and Jordan. After awhile we began to talk. We always had each others back when dealing with rude customers, had similar hobbies and banter. The more we spoke the more we clicked. If either of us needed help we’d be straight there. Wouldn’t think twice about it.

We ended up getting a change of supervisor which is what really brought me and him closer. The new supervisor was loud, rude and disrespectful. Although me and Jordan being the hard working duo that we were, we became more valuable as a member of staff than ever before as she relied on us. Without us working hard she wouldn’t be able to run the bar. After about 6 months in, i left my job to go travel around Australia for 6 months but leaving the job with a good reputation meant that i could return when i came back. First thing i did was message Jordan to see if he still worked there and he did. I went back to work and i was greeted with the biggest hug off of him. I don’t think i actually did any work that shift. Me and him just sat in the stock room throughout most of it and talked. He got promoted to senior supervisor and me and him ran bar 2. I was his second in command, his junior supervisor. It was perfect.

We kept each other going. through thick and thin we was there for each other. We would have massive fall outs at times but we knew that no matter how bad the argument got we had each others backs. Jordan was my first real, true friend ever. I had friends in school but not real ones. Once i left i became a bit socially awkward but Jordan changed all of that for me. He genuinely cared and wasn’t afraid to show it. When i began to supervise other bars he would tell the other members of staff to not be arseholes and to behave. If i was on a different bar he would regularly come and pay me a visit. See how i was and have a chat. If he went to get food he would always bring me some.

He was the one person i could open up to about anything. He was always willing to actually listen and to give a damn. I have mentioned a few times in other posts that me and my family don’t really talk about my sexuality. So Jordan was the person i went to. He may not have understood or whatever but he would invest time into our conversations. I shared everything with him from girls, family drama, work shit and so on. He also confided in me whenever he needed to.

It is safe to say that I love Jordan. There has never been anything sexual between us. it is just pure, honest and loyal love. We made each other feel wanted and needed. Most people at work began to talk asking if we had something going on but it was just jealousy. It is rare to find someone to connect with so deeply and purely. Someone that could change your mood in a matter of seconds.

Time passed and me and Jordan pulled a bunch of people from work together that we liked and made the Squad. The Squad was filled with like minded people. There was about 8 of us all together and we were good at our job and had great banter. Imagine being in a school classroom. The Squad was made up of the naughty kids that sat on the back row and messed about. Did what we wanted and got away with it. Skipping a head a few months and Jordan quit his job. Mainly because of his girlfriend but i wont go into detail on that. I stopped seeing him outside of work, his girlfriend seemed to have a tight leash on him and he never came out. Would always cancel but i know he still cares. I still get regular snapchats and messages from him. Working in a nightclub is hard because people come and go. There are a lot of part time student staff that leave after a year or a couple of months. And in the end, the Squad disbanded. People left. We still keep in touch. Wish each other happy birthday. Message in the Squad facebook group chat every now and then. The thing that made me so proud of the Squad is that after a year of silence and no messaging, on new years day everyone popped up on my facebook messages and wished me a happy new year.

On my last shift i began to think back. Telling staff about my memories of working at the venue for 2 years and i realised something. All my stories began with the same first few words “Me and Jordan”. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I thought about how close we were and i began to cry. I do genuinely love him. He’s my brother. My best friend and i miss him. I miss our arguments, I miss his aggressive drunk attitude, I miss his hugs, I miss the mischief we used to get up to, I miss everything about our friendship. I have moved on, i do have other friends but non of them will be as good as Jordan. No one can make me smile or mad in the space of 1 second of being near each other like he did. Hopefully one day i can get it back. I don’t think it will happen any time soon. We will continue to message and be an important aspect of each others lives at a distance.

Thank you Jordan. My mad hatter.


Author: wonderland journal

I use my blog to unravel. To let my inner feelings and thoughts run free. I do have people to talk to however i find it easier to write about it instead of letting people worry about me. The things i write about will range from small issues to major problems, things i like, my history and memories.

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