What I predicted.

So to briefly summarise about my last post: There is a girl I have feelings for however she is straight and has a long distance boyfriend. I’m happy just staying friends with her however I was hit with a massive blow to the chest when she told me she would be leaving the city. When i asked why i didn’t get an answer until really later on.

And to continue:

I got my answer and it is what i predicted. She said she will be moving in about a month or so to where her boyfriend lives to trail living there for a few months. If she likes it then she will stay, if not then he will trail living here. However she needs a job before she can go down.

When going to work and seeing her i remained supportive. I helped her look for jobs and asked why she suddenly had a change of heart on moving down. (She has told me in the past that she hated the thought of living there.) After talking she sounded pretty sure on it. Being supportive and hiding how i really felt about it was killing me. I don’t want it to fail. I want her to be happy but for my own selfish reasons i want it to not work out so that i can still see her. If she leaves that is it. I’ve never met her boyfriend or the friends she has down there so it would be hard and awkward for me to go down to visit her. Finding it hard to be around her i do what most people do when they are having issues; I called momma bear. I stated that me and my mum don’t really talk about relationships and my sexuality. Not a bad thing, it’s just not something we do unless i am in desperate need. She understood and said “Just keep things open. Don’t close any books just yet.” I was thinking of creating a large amount of distance between me and the girl. To help protect me but what if i ruin something between us. The last thing i want is to lose contact with her but I can’t handle being hurt anymore than i am.

While at work i remained my usual self around her. Joking about, friendly bullying and banter. Making each other laugh. Until towards the end of the shift. Her attitude completely changed with me. The supervisor asked me to do one task which she was doing and made her do something else. And because she didn’t like that task she got moody. Usually she pokes my sides, pushes me, waits for me when going to clock out and so on. However i got non of that. She completed the task given to her and stormed off. Didn’t see her for 15 minutes.

When waiting to leave she sat away from me. She has never done that before. She was purposely avoiding me. I couldn’t believe it. I have one more shift left and i stop working there and she decides to have a tantrum because she couldn’t do the task she wanted?

Jesus. I must admit it made the fact that we may not see each other again easier. I have seen her in a bad mood but never had it directed at me before. It was so petty. Don’t get me wrong, i still have feelings for her but after going through that i’m not so gooey eyed when i think of her.

Anyway, my last shift at a place i have worked at for 2 years is tonight. I have worked hard for the company but a change in management has left me feeling undervalued. I used to be a key trusted employee. The person management would turn to if they needed something done right. But the new management is incompetent. Rota gets handed out a day the next week, shift times are constantly changing, can’t organise staff and has no idea on who is meant to be working and who isn’t. It’s just a mess. So i contacted my old manager and he has given me a job in his venue. I predict tonight will be a weird one. Leaving a place i’ve got so many memories in and having to deal with that girl.

Although I am excited for the future in my new job and i will just have to wait and see what happens with her.

Wonderland.

Advertisements

Author: wonderland journal

I use my blog to unravel. To let my inner feelings and thoughts run free. I do have people to talk to however i find it easier to write about it instead of letting people worry about me. The things i write about will range from small issues to major problems, things i like, my history and memories.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s